


A Real Mess of Things

by Primaryexampleofadisaster



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Conversations, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Crying, Cussing, Darkness, Disney Movies, Drowning, Extended Metaphors, How Do I Tag, Monsters, My First Fanfic, No Romance, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Relationships, Post-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, Sea Monsters, Slight self-deprecating language, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, fear of the dark, mention of stabbing, not too serious, that might change later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:36:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26303539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Primaryexampleofadisaster/pseuds/Primaryexampleofadisaster
Summary: In the aftermath of POF, everyone is struggling to find just where it all went off the rails, and how to move forward.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Everyone, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Everyone, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Everyone, Morality | Patton Sanders & Everyone, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Janus reflects after POF.

Janus paced furiously through the common room. How? How could he have been so stupid? So fucking stupid that he hadn't noticed anyone but himself. Why, why had he said that? Sure, Roman's comment hurt. A lot. But Janus was supposed to be the responsible one. He should have never said that, and he should have been ready for a comment like Roman's. He definitely hadn't forgotten that the other sides were more than tools to manipulate and understand. He hadn't gotten exactly what he wanted, only to end up with a bigger mess, because it's a heck of a lot harder to solve a problem you contributed to.

Just how long had Roman been thinking that the others didn't love or care about him? Why had Logan, who was so often turned to, suddenly believing himself to be ignored? Why was Virgil hiding from everyone when they had already known his big confession? And what the hell was Patton doing after all this?

He let out a stream of breath. "One at a time Janus," he thought. "Let's start with Roman. What do I know about Roman?" Janus paused his pacing and collapsed onto the couch. "He lives for Disney. He trusts (trusted?) Patton, and never directly argues with him. Why?" Janus dragged a hand through his hair in frustration. "Because he's scared that if he doesn't agree with Patton, then he's in the wrong. Then he's the evil twin."

"Fuck. Janus really had screwed this up." And he still hadn't answered his question. When had Roman started feeling this way? Janus had made an assumption based on Roman's gullibility that he would respond even better to seemingly genuine compliments. And he had, right?

Janus supposed that Roman had seemed a little uncomfortable at some of them. He remembered then, "the one and lonely." Why had he skated over that? A Freudian slip was where one's true feelings were accidently revealed. It had been the most obvious call for help Janus had ever heard. And every single side had ignored it. That wouldn't have made Roman feel like they didn't care about his feelings. Not one bit.

But there was more. Well before that, when they had all turned into puppets for some reason. Roman had been unable to respond to Virgil's assertion that no one hated him. Before that too, as far back as that totally not endearing Christmas carol. Because that was definitely what Roman had meant by "There's no winning on Christmas," and Roman definitely hadn't spent the whole time certain that the others had changed the lyrics because they hated his. That wasn't plain to see.

But not even that had been the first time, Janus realized. Roman had clung on to a three year old complement, and three years ago Roman had expressed the feeling of inadequacy regarding his work, and himself. But the issue was more deep rooted than that. In the Q&A, Roman had mentioned an attempt to save himself, and before that, in the introductory video, Roman had expressed a hope to learn to love himself.

"Well, shit. A long while then." Janus certainly didn't feel like an idiot for being so oblivious to clear facts. He fully looked forward to the nice, fun conversation in the near future. "Oh hello Roman, sorry for not realizing the depth and weight of your insecurities and using them to manipulate and attack you. I swear I didn't mean for this to happen." Yeah right. Like that would go well.

And because this situation kept getting better and better, the most reasonable explanation of how nobody had noticed Roman's downward spiral was that they too were consumed by their own issues.

Janus let out a groan of frustration. This was a mess, pure and simple, and Janus just couldn't wait to start cleaning up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow look, a second chapter! I was going to do Patton for this, but changed my mind.
> 
> As before, let me know if I missed or mistakenly added any tags. I'm still trying to figure out what to tag, so I'm sure I made mistakes. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Roman felt like he was drowning. For a while, he had been grasping uselessly at a cliff face as he plummeted towards the water. At one point, he thought he had grasped a vine, and held on for dear life. He even was able to pull himself onto a ledge. But it wasn't a vine. It was a snake and it had bitten him the moment he thought he was safe and sent him hurtling in a free fall toward the ocean below.

And now he was drowning. He was exhausted from his futile attempts to stop his fall and could barely struggle as something grabbed him and pulled him down.

As Roman sunk lower, the creatures of the depths revealed themselves. They were dark creatures, dark thoughts, and they surrounded Roman. Their forms changed as they reminded him of things he had said, things he had done. They morphed again, this time into the words of others. And all the while Roman was struggling to breathe, to draw in the little air that the ocean provided. He thought it had been hard to breathe against the wind as he fell, but now his thoughts were choking him, and he was going to drown because he couldn't remember how to swim.

He wished that he was thrashing about in the water, fighting the monsters as he had many times before. His room sometimes liked to manifest his thoughts, conscious or not. But this time, he was weak and he let himself sink further as the monsters dove after him. They tore into him with their teeth, Janus's words, Logan's words, Virgil's words, even Patton's words. Especially Roman's words. But it didn't matter because he couldn't breathe. He didn't even register the words anymore, they were just background noise to his descent through the icy, salty water that was suffocating him. He was sinking.

Not even bothering to fight now.

Drowning.

And then he wasn't. He was on the floor of his room, holding desperately onto someone, as he sobbed. The illusion had shattered when Virgil came in, worried that he would only make things worse. But he hadn't, because right now Roman wasn't drowning, he was on the beach and someone was there to stop him from slipping back into the water. And that was better than before.

He couldn't stop crying, and couldn't bear to let go, to see that this too was an illusion, a vain hope of being saved. But it was real in a way his room couldn't hope to achieve. After Patton had left, Roman's self hatred had come at him with a ferocity, adding making Patton upset onto an already long list of mistakes from that day. He had spiraled, quickly, and was sure that this time would be like any other: something to face alone. But it wasn't, because Virgil was here and he didn't expect Roman to talk, and just let him cry.

It didn't make everything magically better, and neither did the Disney movie (or 5) that they had watched. It was barely even a start. But it was something. And that counted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and thanks for the comments on the first chapter. They really made my day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Janus have a (slightly useless) conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading chapter 3! And thank you as well for the comments and kudos on the last two. You guys are really nice!

Patton sunk into the common space after leaving Roman's room. He wasn't really thinking clearly, and hoped that someone, anyone would be there.

He was in luck - maybe. Janus was sitting on the couch, frustratedly running his hands through his hair, his hat cast aside. He let out a groan. "Ugh! Why are they all like this? Everyone is so complicated." Patton approached, deciding it would be best to interrupt. He hoped. Since when did he really know what was best?

"H-hey Janus," he chanced, "what's going on?"

"Nothing much," came the reply, "just trying to figure out the best way to fix an incredibly simple situation that I had absolutely nothing to do with."

"I take it that means you're blaming yourself as well," said Patton, sitting. "There's no need too, it's pretty clear most of the responsibility falls to me. I'm supposed to be the father figure after all." 

Janus sat up, returning his hat to his head. "Patton, surely you've realized that I most certainly did not directly cause this. If anything, you are the one most responsible, seeing as you aren't constantly providing the others emotional support."

"But that's just it. I am, or I thought I was. I should have seen this coming."

"Patton, none of us saw this coming, and I planned for a month. Er, I wasn't being honest there."

"But I should have. What kind of parent am I if my kids don't feel like they can come to me when they're feeling low."

"Oh, a truly horrendous one. It's not as though everybody deal with things differently. I mean, Virgil never talks to you, and neither does Roman at times."

"They don't. Virgil and I have been… awkward. For a while now. And Roman, well he didn't even speak to me when I went in. I almost wished he had yelled. I almost did. I didn't mean to. It's just I -"

Janus looked over. Patton was staring at his hands. "Well Patton, seeing as we both massively messed up today, I think it's fair to say that I won't look harshly on you for whatever happened."

"Okay, well, I apologized, and, um, it wasn't a very good one. It was very, er, self-defensive. Is that a word? I think so. Anyway, um, he just shrugged and I was stressed, and upset - with me, not him - and I didn't mean to and-"

"Patton. Whatever happened, it would be a lot harder for everyone involved if you could just spit it out."

"Oh, uh, sorry. Well, I kind of, uh, nevermind. Can we maybe just change the subject?"

Janus figured he could find out later. "No."

"Oh. Okay, well I guess, er, I mean-"

"Patton. I meant yes."

"Oh."

Their discussion lapsed into silence until Patton broke it. "So Janus. I actually came here to talk because I'm not really sure what to do."

"Well, I absolutely know what's going on. I'm sure talking to you won't help."

"I thought I knew everyone pretty well. But I guess I didn't, not really."

"I don't doubt that. It couldn't be that you know some things, just not everything."

"Maybe. But Logan seemed so upset today, and I can't figure out why. And Roman's clearly been lost for a while. And Virgil and I have been awkward around each other."

"I can't figure Logan out either, but you seem to know him better than me at least. As for Roman, I agree. And Virgil and you just need time to adjust."

"So we're at a standstill."

"Yeah."

Once again, their conversation descended into nothing. A few minutes later, Janus stood. "Patton," he started, "I'm not sorry for pushing you so far today. It was wrong of me, and I should have handled the situation better."

"Janus," Patton responded, "I'm sorry too. For not listening sooner. Also, thank you for trusting us today."

Janus nodded and sunk out, and a few minutes later, Patton left for his own room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! 
> 
> I hope I didn't mess anything up, but if I did, let me know and I'll fix it.
> 
> Have a great day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brainstorming session which quickly stops being a brainstorming session. Based 3 weeks afer the last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me! I hope you enjoy chapter 4!
> 
> Logan is a bit rude in this, but he doesn't mean to be, and is also going through his own(undiscussed as of yet) stuff. It's also only for a few lines, but this is here just in case.

It had been 3 weeks and the sides had settled into an uneasy rhythm. Roman and Virgil wouldn't speak to Janus or Patton, Logan rarely gave his input unless explicitly asked, and it didn't much help that Remus kept popping in.

It also wasn't a great sign that Roman kept glancing at Virgil as though he knew something. 

Today, Thomas was brainstorming for a short skit. Roman had come up with the idea for such a thing a few weeks before the trial. He came today armed with ideas. Or rather, armored with them, seeing as he wasn't expected to talk about feelings so long as the conversation never made it there.

"Roman, kiddo, why don't you show us all what you've been working on?" asked Patton with a hopeful smile.

"Well ple-" Roman cut himself off, "guys. Well guys, I have quite a few, rather spectacular, ideas to present to you all. I was thinking that the premise of this little act could be based in a fantasy world." Logan grimaced at the misuse of "premise" in that already grammatically strained sentence, but said nothing. Roman continued, "a baker is stuck in a desolate situation; his father has died and left him nothing, all he had to his name was a milk cow, who was taken by bandits. So this young man goes-"

Thomas cut in, "Roman, I think we are trying to go for a lighter, comical tone for this. And family friendly," he added as an afterthought, predicting Remus's arrival.

"Ah, okay, I do have a few like that, um, what about this," Roman pulled out a new paper, "so this man discovers fairies, and the fairies tend to crack a lot of jokes, and eventually he joins them." Roman looked up.

"Um, Roman," Virgil started, "not to be mean, but we may need something a little more fleshed out."

"Oh, don't worry, Virgil, words never wound me," Roman proudly stated as Janus raised an eyebrow, "besides, I have a plethora of ideas"

Roman listed a few other ideas before asking for input.

"It's not your best work," Logan said simply.

Patton gasped "Logan! I thought we agreed to be supportive of one another's work."

"Apologies. Roman, there may be many ways to bring these ideas up to a standard more typical of Thomas."

"Oh." The word was small, and sounded too much like defeat for Janus's taste.

"Roman, these ideas were wonderful, and as such, we would not be willing to assist you in developing them."

Roman seemed to shrink against the television, desperately trying to find Janus's motive, trying to find the response everyone wanted him to have. He found neither. "I, er, I. I'm gonna go," he said, and sunk out.

"Well, that went well," Janus sighed.

"I believe you may be misund-" Logan began, "ah, sarcasm." 

"Perhaps it would be best for someone to go see Roman," Patton chimed in, looking towards Logan and Virgil.

Virgil looked up apprehensively, "I don't think Roman wants to see me right now."

"Why not, Virgil? If anything, you and Roman have the best relationship at the moment. Perhaps there's something you aren't telling us?"

Virgil shot a glare towards Janus before explaining, "I went into his room after the wedding. He's been weird since, acting as though I knew some big secret of his. That's it."

"Is that, it, Virgil? What happened in there that Roman wouldn't want us to know?"

"Why would I tell if he didn't want me to, huh? Besides, it's not as though I'd tell you anything."

"Oh Virgil, are we not over that little disagreement?"

"That's not it." Virgil's voice was short and clipped.

"Oh, then enlighten us. What is it?"

"Maybe it's the fact that you have manipulated and used all of us, and expressed no remorse or attempts to do better, despite how uncomfortable we all are." Virgil's voice was rising in volume, "or maybe," Virgil's voice dropped again, "it's that I can never trust you not to use people's weaknesses against them like some sort of game. It's insane you are even here right now. I'm leaving." Virgil finished, then sunk out.

"Um, Janus," Patton tentatively said, "maybe you could go check on Roman and Logan and I can discuss?"

"There is nothing to discuss. Today was entirely unproductive, and we are behind on schedule," Logan retorted, then left.

"Patton, while I appreciate the sentiment, I don't believe Roman will take kindly to my presence at the moment." Janus stated, glancing over to Patton, who was looking forlorn, "but I suppose it couldn't hurt to try." He sunk down.

"Thanks Janus," Patton replied, and turned to Thomas. "Well kiddo, that happened."

"Yeah…" Thomas trailed off, "I assume not much is going to get done today. At least I tried."

"Yeah! Trying is important. Things may seem a bit rough right now, but they'll get better, I'm sure."

"You're right Patton. And you know, it's not just Roman and Logan who need to talk."

"Well of course not. But now isn't really the time, is it? Later though I promise," Patton finished, and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again! You guys are great!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to update, I kept changing everything for this chapter. I relate quite a bit to Logan, and it felt too project-y for my liking.
> 
> Not much plot, or length, in this guy, but I hope you enjoy anyway.

Empty

Cold

Distant

Unfeeling

If you asked, Logan would have used those words to describe himself. He wouldn't be lying, not completely. Logan had used those words as a guide, a way to maintain a sense of safety. He didn't want to be outgoing, or warm, or open. He preferred his own company, and was unwilling to let the other sides intrude on his solitude.

At least, that's what he had told himself. It wasn't entirely true. If it had been, Logan could admit he started using those words because he believed them, and wanted the other to as well. He could admit he rejected them because he felt so far away from who he was when using them. He could admit that he let himself be encapsulated by a few words and now felt that they were all he was.

If they weren't, why couldn't he access the feeling of self that he used to have? Why did he feel so unlike himself while doing things he had always done? So they had to be true. But they weren't, and using them began to wear on him. So he tried something new. He tried to be more open.

At first, it wasn't an issue. The sides already knew him for his interests. They were unsurprised by certain traits beginning to emerge.

They failed to recognize his progress, how much effort he was putting into the simple task of being himself.

The effort required of him to stand up and say to himself that yes, he enjoyed this, and no, he hated that. The self-restraint needed to allow himself to experience emotions he was uncomfortable with.

He did not like emotions. At some point he had come to the conclusion that he was too outwardly emotional. He knew that the sides must make assumptions about him that were simply untrue, assumptions drawn from the emotion in his face and voice.

So he had stopped it. And before long, he stopped feeling them internally as well. And soon, he forgot about them altogether.

But then they returned. They returned when he began to try to be more like himself. It was awful. He told himself they weren't real. He was Logic. He didn't experience emotion. He revised that position later, but was unable to admit it.

It didn't matter though. Being himself was horrible. He kept doubting whether it was real. The other sides thought of him as a joke. So he stopped trying. He let everyone use him exactly how he was needed. Nevermind that feeling misunderstood turned into him believing he was silenced. Nevermind that any positive emotion led to frustration at himself, and any negative one fueled it.

Logan didn't worry about those things. He was Logic, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading!
> 
> Also thanks for all the comments and kudos so far. You guys are great!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus and Roman talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I wasn't abandoning this! Inspiration finally struck, so I present to you a brand new, dialogue heavy, slightly disjointed, chapter.
> 
> Thanks a million for reading! I brought up a lot of plot points in here and I can't wait to explore them.
> 
> Let me know what you think below.

Janus stood outside Roman's door, hand raised to knock. He stopped. Such an action wouldn't do, after all, he still had an act to keep up. He may want to show more of himself to his fellow sides, but he knew Roman wouldn't take kindly to another change in demeanor. He sunk in instead.

He should have knocked. It was a much simpler way to announce his presence, and now he had no idea how to begin. Oh well.

He leaned against the velvet looking curtains and assessed the situation. Roman sat at his desk, tearfully scratching down ideas. Crumpled papers lay strewn around him, days, perhaps (hopefully, maybe) weeks worth.

Roman screamed. It was a scream of frustration, and anger, and stress. It was a scream of the million things he felt were attacking him right now, and he couldn't do a thing about. It was a scream of hopelessness, and Janus felt a twinge of shame, regret hit him.

"Hello Roman," he said measuredly.  _ He was not going to mess this up. _

Roman whipped around. A myriad of emotions passed through his face, anger, fear, before settling on desperation. He needed someone, he needed help. He needed help about 2 years ago, but that was said and done. This was here and now,  _ and Janus was not going to mess it up. _

"What are you doing here snake?" Roman growled. "Do you want to rub it in some more?" But inside, he was begging Janus to see through the mask, to realize he wasn't angry, at least not at Janus (well, he was, but not right now). To understand that he so needed help, that he couldn't hold his own against the monster of his own thoughts anymore.

And Janus saw. Some of it at least. "Rub what in?" His voice oozed confidence, but inside he was a mess of trying not to screw this up. He was running through everything he knew about Roman, compiling a hasty mental list of what-not-to-do's.

"It!" Roman yelled. "Just it, all of it."

"You're going to have to be a little more specific."

"You won! You got what you wanted, you proved what you wanted! So what else do you want?"

_ Oh. _ Another revision for his "Facts About Roman" list. Roman was always trying to prove himself to the others, and he did it partially by giving them what they wanted, and he knew what they wanted. He just didn't know Janus's because Janus was the only one who had the ability to hide it. Janus could work with this.

"I don't  _ want _ anything Roman. I am here because  _ you _ want something."

"Everybody  _ wants _ something. Everyone does things because they want something. So why don't you just tell me what you want, so I can finish working, and you can go do whatever you do."

"Okay Roman, I want to help you. Does that work?"

"No. It doesn't"

"What? Still don't trust that I am looking out for everyone?" Janus let the tiniest bit of his guard down, just enough for Roman to know he had been honest about his motive. A different one sprang up in its place.

"No. But that isn't the only reason. There is always an ulterior motive, especially with you."

Janus moved his hand to his heart. "Oh Roman, I'm so offended. But regardless, I am  _ not  _ here to help you."

Roman relaxed slightly. He should have realized this conversation was going to happen whatever he did. Janus would always turn it around on him, always be able to manipulate any situation to get what he wanted. And if this is what he wanted,  _ fine. _ Roman would let him have it. Maybe then he would leave Roman alone, just like everybody else. "Very well then. Do as you will."

Damn. And Janus had been worried about his demeanor changing. At least he wasn't yelling, or making much too acute observations anymore. "So, mind telling me why in the midst of a mental breakdown, you are choosing to, as you put it, work?"

Roman was determined to stay calm. He already had been much too vulnerable with Janus, and Virgil for that matter. But if he was calm, he would not slip up and give away anything he didn't want Janus to know. "Well one, it wasn't a mental breakdown, and two, better ideas were requested of me."

"Roman, you lying makes my job just so much easier. Try again."

_ Fuck. _ He was going to have to get into it. "Because." He stopped. He  _ needed  _ to get into it. "Because it's better than the alternative."

"Which is?"

"Um, well. Actually, moving on! Next question."

Janus sighed. "Okay. Why were you so upset when I came in?"

"Because," Roman steeled himself, reminded himself that he  _ needed _ to talk about it, that it would help. "Because I failed. Again. I keep messing everything up. I spent weeks on those ideas. I did. And everyone, including myself, hated each and every one of them." He searched Janus's face for an indication he had said something wrong. He didn't find it.

"I can assure you that we did indeed  _ hate _ all of your ideas. We certainly expect perfection from you."

"But you do! Or at least, Thomas does. So you should too. I think."

"Thomas  _ expects _ perfection? I highly doubt that."

"He does! Well, kind of. He hopes for it. And gets upset when I can't do it. So everyone gets upset. And it's my fault. It's always my fault."

"Well, unreasonable expectations always end with satisfaction. You should know that those feelings are not necessary to react to. They mean nothing until you lend them meaning."

"Oh. Sure." Roman looked down. "Anything else then Janus?" He hated himself for saying that, but the creeping feeling that Janus was trying to gain an advantage over him was back, and it was becoming overwhelming.

Janus knew he couldn't win that battle. So he didn't try. "Perhaps, Roman, we can continue our discussion at another time?" This would give him time to plan as well.

"That sounds good."

Janus nodded and sunk out. It didn't seem that his rift with Roman was quite as endless as he thought. And he  _ hadn't messed it up. _ And for once, he didn't worry too much that he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman's room is being a jerk again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's chapter 7! Thanks for sticking with me.
> 
> I put a brief explanation of what is happening in the end notes, but it will be explained later as well.
> 
> On a side note, this does mention stabbing "someone." I added it to the tags, but figured I'd say it again. There is also some self-deprecating language, but nothing too serious. Tagged nonetheless - to that point, if there is something I should tag but didn't, let me know.

Oh thank god it was over. He had let himself get pulled into the snake's words again. He had been too vulnerable, shared too much.

Why? Why couldn't he resist Janus's words? He knew they were lies. It wasn't as though any of the others cared, why would Janus be the exception?

_ I don't know Roman, why would he be the exception?  _ The voice swirled around Roman.  _ Why would there even be an exception? _ The voice was taking a shape, twisting into black mist, shifting from form to form.

The room went dark. Too dark. Why did it always have to go dark? Roman hated the dark. He squeezed his eyes closed. It was easier that way, the transition more natural.

Roman was on a cliff?  _ No. _ A boat?  _ No. _ A theater?  _ Not quite. _

Roman was in the living room. Alone. It was always alone. The illusion broke if someone entered. But the room wasn't empty. Roman knew it wasn't. It never was.

"Show yourself monster!" He declared, drawing his sword.

No sound came in response. No matter, Roman could hunt the beast without clues.

He peered over the television. Nothing. There was nothing behind the blinds, or in the kitchen or upstairs. It was actually rather empty, now that Roman thought about it.

He didn't like that. He would prefer to fight.

It was quiet. Too quiet. The quiet of no one being there, and no one coming back. "Guys?" He called out softly. The monster had taken the form of other sides before. Many times. But no response came.

"Hey nerds, game is up!" He yelled. Maybe he could antagonize the monster.

After all, he was the antagonist.

"Okay, please just come out already!" He did not like this. At least when he felt too alone in reality, he could go bother the others. Anything to get them to notice him.

"Come on," he muttered. "It has to be here somewhere."

He took another sweep of the house, this time ending in the kitchen. A note lay on the table now. He breathed a sigh of relief. The words would hurt, but not as bad as the emptiness. How kind of his mind.

He grabbed it. It dissolved as he did so, reforming as a shadowy figure.

_ Oh Roman. You really think they'd leave a note? They know now. They want to get rid of you quickly. You're too much of a responsibility. _

"No! They don't know. Not about this. It disappears when they walk in. I know!"

_ Really now? Then why do you keep worrying that Virgil knows? Who he might tell? How he might use it? _

"I'm not worried!" Roman retorted, backing up. He did not like this. The drowning one was nicer. More unfocused. This one felt too real.

_ Even so, Roman, they know you're weak. They know that you've been lying to them. _

"I didn't lie!" He should stab this thing, here and now. "I kept some things fro, them, sure. But it was only so they didn't worry. They don't need to worry about me!"

_ Do you honestly think they'd worry about you? They all hate you. They always have. You're the evil one after all. _

"I…" He trailed off. No! He was not going to let this thing get to him. It was a representation of his worst thoughts. That was all. He was done with this. He was going to get out. It was just a matter of how.

_How do you get out when lost in your thoughts?_ _You have to untangle them first. You would have to finally confront me._ Then it changed shape, becoming the sea monster. _You would have to fight me._ It became a snake. _Understand me._

_ Talk to me. Create me. Destroy me.  _ It was changing faster now, growing larger. Soon darkness once again engulfed the room.  _ You would have to face me. Can you do that Roman? _

When his voice finally came, it was small. "No."

The illusion faded. He was on the floor of his well-lit room. He must have gotten off the chair at some point. He pulled his knees to his chest. He really ought to get up. To leave. At least to work. Something to hold off those thoughts.

He wished he could, but he just felt so...drained. It wasn't as though anyone would notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! As promised, I am including a brief explanation. This will also be explained in the future, but it isn't a spoiler. If you already figured it out, below is confirmation. If you haven't figured it out, but would like to know, read below. If not, don't.
> 
> Basically, becasue Roman is creativity, his thoughts easily get carried away. This is amplified by his room, as his room represents what Thomas sees as his most prevalent trait(creativity). So during that fun "alone with my thoughts" time, Roman is really alone with his thoughts, amd they immerse him in scenarios like the two that have occurred. Of course, they can also be good, and Roman can normally control them. But, you know, his mental state isn't the greatest at the moment.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil narrowly avoids an unwanted discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit short this time, but I have more coming. This is still, and will continue to be, set before Flirting With Social Anxiety.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Virgil was trying his very best not to murder Janus. The stupid snake must have been sitting in the common area  _ waiting _ for him. He supposed this is what he got for filling up his water in the kitchen rather than the bathroom.

But seriously, who waits to ambush someone while they are just trying to get back to relaxing? Janus, apparently, starting off the bat with the cut-and-dry "Virgil. We need to talk." As if being honest for once in his life would make Virgil trust him for a second.

"No, we don't," Virgil replied curtly, and continued on his way to the kitchen. He was not going to do this today. He had enough to deal with. He didn't need a conversation with Janus to add onto, well, everything. Everything was all kinds of messed up right now.

Janus, being the two-faced asshole he was, decided that he was going to push this, standing up to block Virgil's path. "Look. We don't have to talk about...that. But we do need to speak."

"Well," Virgil began.  _ No! No, no no. He'd been there before. He was not going to listen to Janus ever again _ . "Well, if that's the case," he paused, "I'm  _ still _ leaving. And you are not going to stop me." He glared before pushing into the kitchen. 

As he filled up his glass at the sink, he heard Janus attempt to talk to him again. Once it was full, he turned the water off. He began to walk out of the kitchen when Janus said, "We'll talk later then,  _ Virgil." _

Virgil wanted to throw something. He opted to sink out first.  _ Like hell we will _ . He thought angrily.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, this is my first time actually writing down any fanfic idea that I had. Its going to be multi-chaptered, and I will add tags per chapter. If I forgot any, don't hesitate to tell me.


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